Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Best Salesman On Earth

         He knew they wouldn’t want to be publicly embarrassed
         After he sold them a tower in Paris
         They desperately needed to have waterworks installed
         And he casually sold them Niagara Falls
         With the infinite grace of one destined from birth
         To be the best salesman on earth

         He appeared in commercials knowing just how they yearned
         To wage war on obesity and crucify heartburn
         And needed their curiosities piqued
         While reality television was voting off the weak
         That their hunger for something exhilarating and free
         Could be sated with cold beer and pizza delivery
         Thanks to the best salesman on earth,
         They could just stay home and take on girth

         He scurried away to his palatial retreat
         And the servants who waited to anoint his feet
         And while regular people were taking for granted
         He was slowly but surely acquiring this planet
         That’s how much his hide was worth,
         As the best salesman on earth.


  1. I can think of a few people this applies to. And it's not just about money, is it.

    Yet you know it is a funny ting butt I would care even less for a Stalin than a salesman. When it's a choice of two evils - naturally I would prefer neither. But if I HAD to choose...

  2. how true it is, but hasn't it been so, since the dawn of time? people selling things that were worthless, or free? people selling hopes, dreams & fantasy, while someone raked in the dough, that the targeted couldn't afford to give away? nice voting off the weak line. especially when it brings to mind who they'll vote off that week ;).

  3. lovely words. Salesmen sell, but who's buying? That's what I want to know!

  4. Cold beer.
    The rest was deep and eloquent and all,
    But that was my favorite part.

  5. sounds like a few politicans i know.

  6. Very creative writing dear Elliot, I too think I know some people like this. :)
    xoxoxo ♡

  7. Keeping the masses fat, ignorant and happy gives me the right motivation for being the best ad man I can be. Keep it up.

  8. Hey Elliot, I just wanted to stop by and say that I enjoyed stumbling across your blog this morning. You write beautifully and I am looking forward to following you.
    Thanks and have a great day.

  9. I am so very happy to see you've written a poem. I wonder about you from time to time. You have so much of life to draw from in your works of art.

    Your poem is sobering. There is much unfortunate truth here. conspiring men make it their business to blind the eyes of the majority of the population in order to get ahead. Wheather that item being sold is socks, beer or a new way of life. It is all the same. Rich white (often bald) men calling the shots.

    You are so talented, my friend! I wish you write publicly more. You inspire. ...I on the other hand sang a Jesus hymn on my blog and lost a follower. Haha! Jesus pisses people off, apparently. Whatevz and God bless. :)

  10. I am seriously attempting to find something at fault so I can help you make this great, but it's already great. You have a way with poetry my friend. Everything you write brings some deep, emotional idea to the table, and I am staggered by it.

  11. I think "casually sold them Niagara Falls" is the most lyrical thing I've read in a while.

  12. This is gorgeous. Really.

    I initially planned to skim it quickly and leave a comment, but I couldn't after the first couple of lines. I had read it PROPERLY and savor each line. (I particularly liked the last two lines and "crucify heartburn," by the way.)

    I then went to read your other poems and I loved Nirvana as well, but this is, in my humble opinion, the best poem you've written so far.

    Something in me died when I read this, which is proof that GENERALLY DISGRUNTLED IS DAMN RIGHT.

    Seriously, Elliot. I thought your blog posts at Apellate Sky were great, but this is on a new level.

  13. There are those who would sell anything for profit and not give a damn about consequences...your poem brilliantly conveyed that fact...bravo