Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Bloodbath

            When the seeds of sibilance find earth in your stomach,
            And stocks in fallow economies plummet;
            A party of militants put their weight on your chest,
            And the fleet-footed seraphim have all acquiesced;
            If the poison leaks in through a vulnerable vein,
            And finds its way into that beautiful brain,
            I’ll bleed the Mississippi red,
            So you can jump in and soak your head.

            If it’s time to get clean I’m a river of green,
            Expelling the sorrows of your lackluster dream,
            Letting them out into the great unseen;
            Eroding the terror of your paralyzed screams
            And the ruination of your true-hearted schemes

            So that somebody somewhere could find some relief
            In the comical nature of your self-imposed grief
            And deltas could form among desolate streets
            In the visceral spaces where nobodies meet.

28 comments:

  1. Bravo! I do say my good man, the blood spilled is clout earned! Well done.

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  2. sounds like some boy's from the south. ;)

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  3. Thank you so much for visiting my page and commenting on it:) Nice blogs you have! Happy Blogging:)

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  4. Self-imposed grief DOES have a bitterly comical nature. Yet it is such that the natural man/woman craves a degree of sorrow and disturbance. Addiction to chaos runs rampant.

    Great poem. As usual. :)

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  5. Your talent and wit are apparent. I get the feeling of refined anger in this post. I am not all that savvy, politically, but I will say you craft some nice work, both here and on your other blog. Are the "nobodies" at the end of this poem, all the rest of us?

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  6. A poet, too?! Too much talent for one person.

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  7. Dear Elliot,

    You are a natural poet,

    able to craft and weave delightfully

    rich verse.

    The last line is particularly strong -

    it resonates.

    It's very intriguing.

    Cheers

    Mark

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  8. haha well might be a long walk from one city to another, but I had a good laugh about your comment:)
    this poem is great, by the way. I like all the images that you create here a lot.

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  9. @Wrinkling Daily, this is not a satirical poem, though I can see where given my most recent post on the other blog you could get that impression. The nobodies, in the context of what this poem means to me, are members of Alcoholics Anonymous. This poem is about my experience in recovery.

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  10. Oh, I do love this Elliot. I can see what it was like, what happened and how it is now.

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  11. I look forward to reading more of your work...

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  12. Bitter but biting too. A lot of great combinations of words and images. k.

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  13. I had no idea this was about alcoholism and recovery until I read your reply and then re-read your prose. Then I could 'see' what you were saying and connecting. Fabulous imagery. And, congratulations on your recovery.
    Thanks for visiting me too.

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  14. Such a fantastic write. Your poetic skills are amazing.

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  15. This has just blown me away. I shall need a few more reads to do it justice.

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  16. a great write and God speed on your road to recovery.

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  17. In the comical nature of your self-imposed grief
    And deltas could form among desolate streets
    In the visceral spaces where nobodies meet.... ha...tightly penned...there is some sort of comic in self-imposed grief and lots of sadness...well penned

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  18. nice rhymes.

    does this have a communist reference?

    I’ll bleed the Mississippi red,

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  19. @zongrik, none was intended. This poem is about Alcoholics Anonymous.

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  20. This is quite a powerful poem, Elliot, especially after reading your comment to Zongrik. I need to go back and read again for the AA twist.

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  21. Wow! A whole different read.

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  22. This is quite powerful, Elliot. I love your use of imagery and you've penned some fantastic phrasing. Strong poetry, for sure. Thanks for visiting my blog!

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  23. "expelling the sorrows of your lackluster dream"...
    This is seriously awesome man! Keep posting.

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  24. You are a talented writer. I specially like the second stanza and your rhyming words ~ Nice to meet you ~

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  25. I like this one a lot. There is a lot going on here, and you have some great images and word play. You two closing lines are...wow.
    Cheers,
    Other Mary

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