Monday, September 12, 2011

When Glassy Rocks Covered The Land

            I once got lost in a country of wimples,
            When my heart was the captive of a woman of the cloth,
            The saintly mother of anointed whispers,
            Who couldn’t deny me the heavenly covers.
            I saw her phantom in the breath of a candle,
            And couldn’t resist her immaculate druthers.
            We lived in the valleys of sinuous motion,
            In fuzzy meadows and sweetwater streams,
            In raspy moans and volcanic explosions,
            In tiny rivulets and plunging ravines.
            We could’ve spent a millenium thrusting,
            Entrusting the rest to an unborn queen.

            And when there were fires they were higher than temples,
            And worse than the righteous tears of a child.
            They murdered the forests and scorched every shadow,
            And they burned in our bodies right down to the marrow.
            The least just war on record to date,
            Was nothing compared to what love could create.

            Where once lay the blankets of our lush vegetation,
            There is now just a crater of treasonous waste,
            And the remnants of what spread them all over creation,
            A matterhorn fallen from vacuous space.
            When two ones wanting was too much to stand,
            And was still more when glassy rocks covered the land.



    I really enjoyed reading this. Nowadays, most of the poetry you see on blogs are "modern" poetry, which basically means you can type "sacred. blood dripping. painful ecstasy" and it's considered art.

    Needless to say, I liked your poem very much.

  2. Ha. Yep modern poetry is what I write. You won't find a rhyme anywhere. But what is interesting is that I shared your blog with another poet and said it was just a fun read, full of levity and laughter. Hilarious that here you are writing a poem :)

  3. Elliot, I am astonished by my inability to read poetry. The value of time, and the pressures in my life seem to have completely reshapen me. My god, what have I become?

  4. I like you Elliot. If I still lived in Texas I would cross the border into Louisiana and have a drink with you. That's still a state where you can leave three kids in a car outside of a bar, right? :)

  5. I like the rhyme scheme, traditional. I like the imagery. There's a couple of words I wouldn't have chosen, but that's me. Overall, I like it. And I hope it's a sign for the future. The world needs more poets.

  6. I was surprised by how much I liked this and now I'm left pondering why the hell I was surprised. A twofer.

  7. Heidi, in Louisiana they have drive-thru daiquiri places so I would imagine the answer is yes. But I wouldn't know, because I don't drink anymore. However I would gladly join you for a Shirley Temple.

  8. hey thanks for passing by my blog and dropping your valuable comment :)
    great poem... beautifully crafted :)
    hope to stay connected :)
    happy blogging :) :)

  9. Elliot- This is a beautifully crafted emotional piece full of rich images. I especially like the second stanza.

  10. I enjoyed this. Looking forward to others.

    Also, thank you for the add!

  11. Hey man, this text is really good, keep posting !
    I'll follow you.

  12. was it all just treasonous waste, that crater space, left empty & hollow? or was it more than just that? for all that love, however brief it was, helped one forget, that least just war, if only for a moment. or that there were things, that there are still things, one could get lost in. that there is still beauty even when surrounded in, or by ugliness?